Phase 2 & Year 2

Phase 2

As of June 9, Joel is in phase two of pilot training! That means that he has moved out of academics and on to flying T-6's. It also means that he works 12 hours every day... last week he worked from 9 til 9, and this week he is working 5 to 5 - plus at least an hour of studying every night when he gets home. It's really tough on him, so please keep him in your prayers. He got airsick on his first flight and got passive airsickness on his second flight. This morning the flight doctor diagnosed him with "stress and fatigue" (shocking, I know, that someone might be stressed and fatigued by having to get up at 4 AM, work 12 hours, study, and never see his wife... all while remembering that everything he does has a lasting impact on his career). So, Joel is "DNIF" for a little while (that's Air Force lingo for not being allowed to fly) until he is feeling better.

Year 2

Sunday, June 12, was our one year anniversary. That means we have moved out of the honeymoon stage and on to... wait a minute! Hold the presses! We missed the honeymoon stage! Excuse me while I mentally review the past year...... nope, no honeymoon stage.

I'll never forget a conversation we had with one of the parents from New Covenant last summer. It was at the Cherokee mission trip car wash fundraiser (AKA the hottest day of the summer), and we'd been married about a month and a half. This well-meaning parent came up to us smiling and said, "It's the newlyweds! So, tell me, is married life everything you thought it would be?!" Joel and I (reflecting upon the E. Coli, UTI, and kidney infection that had already plagued me, the long hours we were both working, and the constant bickering over the "right" way to do the dishes, make the bed, etc.) both instantly responded, "No." This poor woman was only taken aback for half a second before she replied, "Oh, that's so sweet! It's not everything you expected - it's more! How wonderful!" We didn't have the heart to tell her she was crazy to think any newlyweds were happy, so we just walked away.

So, no, we did not get to experience a honeymoon stage of marriage. Instead we had a challenging first year of marriage marked by a 1,000 mile move, several illnesses, and lots of fighting. I would not relive this year for anything in the world. However, this has also been one of the most sanctifying years of my life, filled with dying to self and learning to trust in God's faithfulness. I truly love Joel now more than I did on our wedding day, because I understand a little bit better what love really is and what it looks like to selflessly love a sinner. Now we are facing year two together with joy and peace, knowing that God will always be faithful to us.

In honor of our one year anniversary, we had a romantic candlelight dinner.

I made all of our favorite foods, plus a delicious turtle cheesecake for dessert.

We had a lovely evening at home together!

Oh wait, did I forget to mention why we had dinner at home? Well, it was to save money, because of this:

That would be the 2008 Ford Escape that Joel bought for me as an early anniversary present! I am so thankful to have a reliable car to take on all my trips this summer!

Memorial Day Weekend/Murphy's Law

To celebrate the long weekend, Joel and I decided to spend three days/two nights on the beach at Pensacola Naval Air Station in the Sunshine State. Things started off ok, although we left at about 11 AM on Saturday instead of 7:30 AM like we intended. (We had a little last-minute drama regarding dog sitting.) Anyway, we were checked into the hotel and on the beach by 4:30.

After about an hour, we went and got cleaned up for dinner and then went to "The Crab Trap" and enjoyed a crab FEAST! Not a bad start to the weekend, right?

Moving on to Sunday - we hit the beach around 10:30 with our picnic lunch in tow. Let me just say: I believe in sunscreen. I am not one of those people who just says "Whatever, I'll burn but then it will turn into a tan." No, I wear sunscreen. So immediately upon setting up our "spot" on the beach, I put on sunscreen. Now, I only started out with SPF 12 "tanning lotion," but then I faithfully reapplied with SPF 30 about once every 45 minutes. After three hours of relaxing, swimming, and reading we decided to call it a day... only to discover we had both been burnt to a crisp. For the record, Joel only put sunscreen on one time, and I got just as burnt as he did.

Next, we thought a little shopping trip would be fun. However, five minutes into our drive my car started shaking. hmm that's interesting... Then, it refused to shift and would not go above 35 MPH. That can't be good And to top it all off, a rancid burnt odor started pouring into the car. So much for our shopping trip.

We made it back to base ok, and still decided to venture out for a romantic, delicious dinner at the Melting Pot. Dinner was the best part of the evening, because when we got back to the hotel, we realized we were too sunburnt to do anything - including sleep. We both had a little sun poisoning and were still feeling pretty nauseous and miserable when we got up this morning.

So, instead of taking my car to the mechanic like we had been planning on, we decided to just drive home. My car, Penelope, held in there like a trooper... until we were about 100 miles from Columbus. That's when my driver's side rear tire literally shredded off my car - easily the worst blow out either of us had seen. So, while Joel changed the tire (in the blazing sun) I trekked a mile up the highway (in the scorching Mississippi sun) in search of the hubcap that had come off. No luck.

After that little adventure, we proceeded to drive the next few hours at 50 mph until - praise the Lord we made it back to our house safe and sound.

What should have been a fairly inexpensive weekend away (staying on the Navy base and only buying two meals) has now put us in the market for a new car. But ohhh the memories we will have of Memorial Day 2011!



This was the memorial on Mustin Beach at Pensacola NAS.

Thank you to those who have given their lives in service of our country. You are not forgotten.

May Update - Working unto the Lord

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." - Colossians 3:17

Phase I of pilot training is in full swing, and let me just say that I am really impressed (and a little suprised) by my husband! Joel wasn't exactly the most studious and devoted student in college. Specifically during his senior year, his motto was "C's get degrees!" However, the academic phase of UPT has brought out a whole new side of him. He studies diligently every night and has gotten 100's on almost all of his tests, with a few 90-somethings thrown in here and there. He is truly excelling and I could not be more proud of him! His work ethic is a testimony and encouragement to his classmates and to me.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as if working for the Lord, and not for men." -Colossians 3:23

As for me, I recently started a part time job: ~20 hours a week doing retail and deliveries at a beauty supply store- which is a huge blessing! I work great hours and have been really enjoying learning about all kinds of cool products and learning my way around Mississippi! Also, last week I started taking two classes online through Liberty University. Since it's a shortened 8 week summer session, the course load is pretty intense, but I'm trying to follow Joel's example and work as if unto the Lord in all I do!

I'm also trying my hand at not killing every plant I touch:

Joel and I spent a sunny Saturday afternoon weeding, mulching, and planting these beautiful flowers... unfortunately, the bugs think they taste delicious so they no longer look quite so perfect. :)

Tornado Relief - Please read!

As many of you know, yesterday's tornadoes were deadly and devastating here in the southern states. They left a wake of destruction (especially through Tuscaloosa, Alabama) that needs to be addressed immediately. I think that all of us need to take action, at least in some way. I am currently working on heading up some disaster relief efforts with the hope that many, if not all, of you will join in alongside me - even those of you who live 1,000 miles away.

For those of you here in Mississippi - Please be advised: I spoke with our local chapter of the American Red Cross this morning, and they are strongly requesting that no-one venture into the affected areas yet. Many attempts to help are just creating more chaos and endangering people who are putting themselves in harm's way with the best of intentions.

After speaking with the Red Cross, I think that there are three important ways we can help. One is fundraising - first, take a moment to visit redcross.org to see how donations will be used and give as you feel called.

Secondly, the Red Cross is compiling a list of names and phone numbers of people interested in volunteering in person with the disaster relief. As I mentioned earlier, they are NOT sending anyone into the tornado-afflicted areas just yet. However, they are making these lists so that they can mobilize disaster relief teams as soon as it is safe to do so. I submitted my information, and if you would like to do so too, call 662-842-6101. Also, please send me an email (hpaoliloftus@gmail.com) to let me know that you are interested in volunteering so that we can go in groups and organize car-pools when the time comes. Please feel free to contact me with questions, concerns, to volunteer, etc.

The third thing that we can and should all be doing is praying. Do not underestimate the power of the One who we pray to.

And for those of you back home - in addition to praying, consider whether you are able to give financially. You can give directly through redcross.org. Remember that all donations are tax deductible.

The Magnolia State

After a wonderful month at home in Pennsylvania for me and a stressful month in Colorado for IFS for Joel, we are finally back in Mississippi.

You'll have to excuse me for not blogging so faithfully lately, but we have started to get rather busy! All you've missed are a few tornado warnings and me having all four wisdom teeth pulled (and no, you can't see a picture of me with "balloon face" as Joel's little sister called it!).

Let me update you on Joel first, since he has a very exciting day today! Today is Joel's first day of pilot training here in Columbus! (It's officially called "UPT" for "Undergraduate Pilot Training," but I don't think there is "graduate pilot training" so it seems like a silly name to me.)

Anyway, let me give you a quick overview of UPT so that you can stay up to date on what Joel is doing. First up is Phase I - Academics. Joel will be doing lots of studying and test taking and have very little of a social life during Phase I. Phase II, which will start in June, is the "T-6" phase - he will fly a generic training airplane that everyone flies in pilot training. He will do lots of flying and studying and airplane stuff, and have very little free time. Then, Joel will have a "track select" which is a little ceremony where everyone in his UPT class (Class 12-09) will find out what aircraft they will be flying in Phase III. T-1's and T-38's are available at Columbus, but there are a few different options at other bases. T-1's prepare you to fly "heavies" (cargo planes) and T-38's send you the fighter/bomber route. Joel is hoping to get T-1's so he can eventually fly C-17's, C-130's, or C-5's. Phase three will officially end on 18 May 2012, with the class of 12-09's graduation. (A few weeks prior to this is "Assignment Night," which is where Joel finds out what airplane he gets to fly and what base we'll be going to next.)

The next 13 months of UPT are going to be challenging and, at times, over-whelming for Joel, so please keep him in your prayers. We're both a little concerned about the stress it will put on Joel and the strain it will inevitably put on our marriage. So please don't forget about us down here in Mississippi - we covet your prayers!

One last thing - A quick update about me. I am going to be taking classes online through Libery University starting on May 16. I will be working towards an Associate's Degree in Christian Counseling. Most of my credits from West Chester will transfer, so I'll only need seven classes through liberty. I plan to graduate in May 2012, and we'll just have to wait and see what the Lord calls me to do from there. I'm not thrilled that I'm venturing away from my dream of being a teacher, but God has firmly shut that door, at least for now.

As far as the job hunt goes, I have a few promising leads right now that I'm pretty excited about. In the meantime, God has provided a part-time job for me through a temp agency at an office where I truly enjoy working. I work for there sporadically and miss having a consistent schedule, but the owner and office manager are wonderful Christian people with Southern accents to boot!

Brotherly Love

"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity." - I Timothy 4:12

Like most siblings, my older brother and I fought constantly as kids. I think my mom would have gladly given either one of us to any passerby just to have some peace from our bickering... There was the time I chomped into Tim's back because we were playing Hansel and Gretel and he was the wicked witch but wouldn't go in the oven. And of course every long car-ride came with wails of, "He's on my siiiiide!"

Fortunately, by the time I was in high school, I counted Tim as one of my best friends. He never got too cool to hang out with me. He was never afraid to speak up and tell his friends to include me. My lack of coordination and athleticism wasn't a good enough reason to exclude me from any game or sport. Tim has always set a stellar example for me in good sportsmanship, too.

My most meaningful memories with my brother don't start until he graduated high school, though. Despite some pressure from our parents, Tim chose not to go to college. Instead, he jumped right in and started working hard at an incredible job. He also started volunteering with our church's junior high youth group and the 6-12th grade boys' ministry, where he continues to serve to this day. It was during this time that the example he was setting for me in his life and his faith became invaluable to me.

When I graduated high school two years after Tim and started attending college, I was afraid Tim and I would grow apart. But Tim wouldn't stand for that; he continued to invest in my life even once it meant going out of his way and putting in a lot more effort. My brother is an "actions speak louder than words" kind of guy. During my freshman year, I started pursuing a relationship that was not honoring to the Lord. Tim could have fallen into the typical "older brother" role and told the guy to stay away from his sister... or else! Instead, Tim drove up to my dorm after work, picked me up at my door, took me out to a nice dinner (which he paid for), and then went to Campus Crusade with me and met all my friends. It was like Tim was saying, "I'm only ok with this guy if he treats you like this." It was so much more meaningful than if Tim had sat me down and said he didn't approve of the guy I liked. (Tim actually took me out to a scrumptious dinner at Red Lobster just last week, to remind me how much he loves me.)

In his 4+ year relationship with his girlfriend, Tim has set a commendable example for me in purity. He treats his girlfriend with respect, love, and loyalty. I don't know that I could have married Joel if Tim didn't like him from day one. It's not that I seek my brother's approval; I desire his respect because I value his opinion so much. God has given him insight and wisdom beyond his years. (Pause for just a second and acknowledge what a testament Tim is to my mom and dad's Godly, loving parenting and to the power of Christ in someone's life.)

Many people call him friend, two call him son, but only I get to call him brother, and I couldn't be more honored. I love you, Timmy!

Becoming Bilingual

How do you say, "I love you?"


If your spouse bought you a dozen roses or a beautiful pair of earrings for no reason, would it remind you how loved you are?

If your other half suprised you by sweeping and mopping the floors while you were out one afternoon, would you feel cherised?

What if your husband wrote you a poem, telling you exactly what he appreciates about you?

What if he skipped football night with the boys to just be with you and watch your favorite show?

If your spouse gave you a back rub, kissed you, and took a moment to just hold you amidst the craziness of daily life, would you know you're his beloved?


Whether or not they've taken the time to read his books or not, many people are familiar with Dr. Gary Chapman's theory about the "Five Love Languages:" 1. Gifts, 2. Acts of Service, 3. Words of affirmation, 4. Quality time, and 5. Physical touch.

What says "I love you," to you? Your love language is how you receive love most meaningfully, and it's also how you are most likely to communicate love to someone else.

I "speak" quality time and touch while Joel speaks words of affirmation and touch. One of the hardest things about being married, especially to a military man, has been learning to receive and express love in different ways.

While Joel has been away at IFS, I've thrown a pity party or two because we can't have quality time or physical touch. He's two time zones away, and we're lucky to get to talk for twenty minutes a night. Joel has done his best to make me feel loved long-distance, but somehow it's just not the same. He sent me my favorite flowers.

He wrote me sweet notes. He's done everything he can, and it's totally unfair for me to ask anything more of him. So instead of complaining, I'm trying to become bilingual. Becoming bilingual means more than accepting Joel's actions and words as genuine acts of love and devotion, though. It means being intentional about reaching out to Joel through his love languages.

Especially when we first got married, I felt a little uncomfortable giving Joel specific compliments and telling him I'm proud of him. But that's what he needs. When I tell Joel the things I love and appreciate about him or thank him for how hard he works, he hears more than just the words I'm saying. To him, it says "I love you." It's difficult to be unselfish in how I express love to Joel. My tendency would be to do the things that would say "I love you" to me (i.e. quality time), but if something is getting lost in translation, and Joel is missing part of my message, I need to lay aside my pride, put in a little extra effort, and speak the language that he understands the best.

So, just a thought for my married and engaged followers: Do you speak to your significant other in his/her love language, or yours?