The "After"

Remember this?

Well, our kitchen now looks like this:

A coat of paint on the walls and touch-ups on the trim (thanks to my dad for teaching me how to paint) were the first step. I finished painting in early September. Next, I put up some new, inexpensive curtains. Then, in mid-October, we used some of the money we made by moving ourselves to get granite countertops. Lastly, we finally found a buffet we both liked at a reasonable price around Thanksgiving. Now all we need is something to hang over top of it!

Speaking of Thanksgiving, my little niece had lots of aunts and uncles loving on her that day!

She's such a sweetie. I am so looking forward to seeing her (and both sides of our family) over the upcoming holidays. Merry Christmas, everyone!

Mirror, Mirror

Blow dryers, flat irons, eyelash curlers: getting ready in the morning can take an arsenal of tools and a fair amount of mirror-time. Something that has been on my heart recently, though, is what we should be checking for in the mirror – the “m” word. Know where this is going?

Especially since meeting and marrying Joel, I’ve gained a new appreciation for modesty. Understanding a guy’s perspective on this has been helpful… and heart-breaking. So, let me share what I have learned with you.

First of all, it’s important to think about who is watching you. Joel has nine younger sisters, and something that I have been extremely convicted of is – Would I want my sisters-in-law to wear this? Better yet, would big-brother Joel want his little sister to wear this? I try to be intentional about not wearing anything that I would not want to see Joel’s sisters wear.

Secondly, you know all those cliché “modesty tests?” Use them.

Remember the “hallelujah test” – put your arms up (like you’re saying “hallelujah!”). Is your stomach showing? If so, layer a longer shirt underneath whatever you’re wearing.

Then there’s the “mirror test.” Bend forward in front of a mirror. Can you see down your shirt at all? If so, so can everyone else. Change or put on a cami.

Let’s define the “fingertip rule” as well. When your arms are relaxed at your side, are your shorts at least as long as your longest fingers? If not, throw them away. I’m not kidding. Get rid of them.

A few other practical guidelines I have discovered over the years (and with Joel’s help).
• Put a belt on. When you bend over, your crack and/or underwear should NOT be visible. Tuck your shirt into your belt in the back for extra coverage if you need to.
• Skirts and dresses should be knee-length, meaning TO THE KNEE. The fingertip rule doesn’t apply here; they need to be longer than that. And ladies, please, let’s remember that tights do NOT make up for short hemlines. If it’s too short without tights, it’s too short with tights.
• Be situationally appropriate. If you’re going to be playing with kids or holding babies, avoid v- and scoop-necks. If you’re going to be up on a stage, especially in church, please just wear pants because, yes, I can see up your skirt.
• A recommendation from my husband – please don’t wear words across your butt. If there is any writing on the butt of your pants/shorts, get rid of them. Yes, even your work-out gear.
• Teenage readers – (Do I have any of those?!) Two things: 1.) Please, give your moms a break. Most likely, your mom is exhausted. She is tired of fighting with you over what you may and may not wear. She is trying to help you and protect you and your brothers, not stifle your inner fashionista. If you wear her down and get her to let you buy something she has said “no” to ten times before, it’s not a victory, not even a little bit. 2.) Take your brother or dad bathing suit shopping with you. I’m convinced it’s the wisest thing you can do. Sure, your dad says your bathing suit should cover neck to knee, but he is actually a great resource to help you find a cute AND modest swimsuit. (I’ve found that sporty is often the best way to go.) Personally, I have two bathing suits. One that I can wear playing ultimate Frisbee on the beach with the youth group kids or to Joel’s parents’ house where I know I need tug-proof, kid-proof coverage. The other is less conservative and is for beach-dates with my husband or peers, but it still has Joel’s approval.

Proverbs ll:22 – “ Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.”

Discretion: n. The quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense or revealing private information.

Synonym: Modesty.

Rose, Bud, Thorn

When Joel and I started dating, he taught me to play a game called "Rose, Bud, Thorn." It's a conversation-starter that he used while working as a youth ministry intern. All you do is say what the rose/best part, bud/what you're looking forward to, and thorn/worst part of your day/week/month were. The first time he ever sent me flowers, he gave me three perfect, beautiful, long-stem pink roses with a note that said "You have been the rose of my life the past three months." I know, awwwwww.

So here's my Rose, Bud, Thorn - Rose # 1: This past Saturday my little sister-in-law and I ran a 5k on the most gorgeous autumn day ever in Ocean City.

It was really fun, and I felt so blessed to be able to be there with her! She came home with me after the run, and then we went to Newark to celebrate Joel's maternal grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. We had a great time with all of Joel's family and were thankful we got to be there.

Rose # 2: Yesterday, we had a meeting with Joel's commander, which I was dreading. I was expecting to hear: "Yay Air Force! Go Air Force! All Air Force all the time." Don't get me wrong, I support Joel in his career 110%, and I appreciate his (and all of our other service members') service. However, I was pleasantly surprised to hear Joel's Lt. Col commander say things like, "Don't be the guy who is still here when I'm leaving at the end of the day. I won't be impressed. I'll think, 'that guy needs to learn time management.' And don't be the guy who never takes leave. Take your leave and take time for your family... I will NOT be the reason or excuse that anyone gets divorced. Don't let things get to that point." And, my favorite, "I hate deploying first assignment guys. I'll do everything I can to avoid it."

Granted, he did say that they refer to the holiday leave lottery system as "Operation Deny Christmas." So, we are just going to soak up every second of the holidays that we get to spend together this year because, well, who knows if we'll ever get to spend Christmas together again.

The Bud: I'm already looking forward to my first-ever Loftus family Thanksgiving! I can't wait to sit at that gigantic table, surrounded by family, eating delicious food. I just have this idea that that is how Thanksgiving is supposed to be celebrated.

The Thorn: Joel will be leaving for survival training and water training soon. He will be in Washington state for just over a month. He will be freezing to death in the woods of WA (he does get issued snow shoes, though), but I will not be enjoying climbing into bed with no-one to put my cold feet on!


Stay tuned: Our kitchen make-over is almost complete! Pictures will be up soon.

Catch-Up!

Somehow, the whole month of September slipped by without a single blog post! These pictures are almost an entire month old now, but still well-worth sharing. Check out our beautiful niece!

We love her so much already, and we are so excited to be able to be around for the first few years of her life. What a blessing!

We had a fabulous visit a few weeks ago when Naomi came over for her first sleepover (with her sweet mom and dad, of course)! It was just one of those really special times that we would have missed out on if we still lived in Mississippi.

In other news, Joel's training is still going really well, and he just started taking another master's class through AMU. His class will end right before he leaves for SERE (survival training in Washington state) next month. He's also on his squadron's flag football team and is hoping to find ways to get more involved with the squadron soon.

We've found a PCA church that we like and that faithfully preaches the Gospel. It's a 30+ minute drive from Dover, but it's worth it. We're praying for opportunities to get more involved and hopefully make some friends there. Seriously, I'm about to run an ad for young, married, Christian couples looking for new friends. Ok, that's a little dramatic, but we honestly have not met even ONE couple under 30 without kids.

I'm still looking for a part-time job but to no avail. The job hunt is getting a little frustrating, but I know that God will bless me with a job in his timing, just like he did in Columbus. Prayers (and job offers!) appreciated, though!

The First State

After lots of unpacking, hanging pictures, and cleaning, we are finished moving into our very first house!

The kitchen (which is open into the dining room) is the project room; we'll call these the "before" pictures.

The dining room opens right up into the living room, which is by our front door.

And this is the TV stand that Joel MADE!

There's also a laundry room that leads into the garage, and a little powder room on the first floor.

At the top of the stairs is the guest bathroom... in which we have not yet figured out how to turn on the shower. Good luck to our first houseguests (haha, Tim and Nicole!).

Here's our hallway. There's a linen closet and our bedroom door on the right, and the office and guest bedroom on the left. Plus, Calvin loves his new home!

We love the high ceiling in our master bedroom, the his and hers closets, and the attached bathroom... even if we do miss our double sinks!

That's it! We love it and are so blessed to be able to live in such a nice house in an awesome location! Hopefully, I'll have some "after" pictures of the kitchen in about a month.

One last thing - I am thrilled to announce that I am an auntie! Joel's brother and sister-in-law welcomed their first baby into the world yesterday. We cannot wait to meet our niece! What a blessing!

The Loftus Dictionary

Since I have exactly ten minutes of free time, it seems a little update is necessary. Two weeks ago today, Joel and I found out that our "report no later than date" to Dover was changed from October 12 to August 12. Crunch time: defined.

We truly would not have been able to move on any less notice than those very short ten days. I put in one week notice at work and started packing. Never before did I realize that being an efficient packer is a gift. Thank you, Lord, for this talent! (And thanks to my dad, because I am pretty sure I got that gene from him.) I handled absolutely all of the packing, and Joel took care of absolutely everything else. Teamwork: defined.

Crazy, right? Our very different, very strong personalities usually clash, but over the past two weeks, they have complimented each other perfectly. I packed, planned, coordinated, and organized, while Joel made phone calls, out-processed, and dealt with people and paperwork that I lack the patience for. Maybe God knew what he was doing when he brought us together afterall. Together we accomplished what needed to get done. And all too soon it was time to say goodbye to Mississippi. Bittersweet: defined.

We loved living in the South! The culture, the weather, and the people were all amazing. I left behind a job that was a great blessing to us, with the most understanding, flexible boss anyone could ask for. We said goodbye to friends, neighbors, and mentors who made us feel so loved and so at home in Columbus. Now, as I sit in a Temporary Living Facility on Dover Air Force base (1,000 miles closer to our loved ones), thinking about how my plans for the next two months did not work out at all, I praise the Lord for his timing and his sovereignty. No, we were not able to move straight into our house upon arriving in Delaware. No, we didn't get to say all of the "goodbyes" that we would have liked to in Mississippi. But as of today, Joel is in C-5 training. And we live in Delaware. God has brought us here; God is with us. Blessed: defined.

Back to Blogging - Last One

June seemed liked such a short month for us! I was working a lot so that my co-workers could take vacations. My job is definitely a blessing, but working full time for a few weeks was stressful - especially since Joel had so much free time! He was actually getting bored because he didn't have any responsibilities.

On June 12th, we celebrated our two year anniversary. It feels like we have come such a long way together, but still have so far to go! Sometimes the daily work and sacrifice of investing in our marriage is exhausting, but we know it's sanctifying - and it's worth it!

July is following in June's footsteps by flying by! We had a fun Independence Day, and were able to have several of Joel's pilot training classmates over for some BBQ. We also had the opportunity to go to Maxwell, AFB in Montgomery, AL to visit a good friend of Joel's who was doing some training there. (It was his friend Matt from Maryland, who commissioned him two years ago.) We had a nice, uneventful weekend, which has built up our trip-taking confidence a little bit. So, we are actually planning a trip to Biloxi/Gulfport for a beach weekend together before Joel leaves for SERE. We're praying for good weather and no catastrophes, since our last "vacation" was the Murphy's Law Memorial Day trip to Pensacola last year.

On July 2, Joel started taking two 8-week online master's classes through American Military University. He has been working hard, but NOT enjoying getting back into the academic world. His birthday was the 17th, and I decided to do birthday week for him this year, since he always does it for me. (He said I only did birthday week as a lesson for him - you know, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you!") I really enjoyed surprising him with a little present everyday, including his first-ever purple shirt and tickets to the Dark Knight Rises (which was really good!).

Yesterday, Joel was officially promoted to First Lieutenant! It's pretty much an automatic promotion after two years of service, but it's a nice little pay raise, and I'm proud of him! We have lots of big events coming up, so hopefully I will be a faithful blogger. Joel and I are a one computer family right now, and with all of his master's homework, it's difficult for me to get computer time to blog! (Sadly, Joel's pink Dell died about a month ago. He isn't exactly loving getting used to my Mac, either.) So stay tuned - there's lots going on in the Loftus' lives! :)