Valentine's Day: A time to die

In the summer of 2009, I had the incredible opportunity to be the youth intern at my home church – Cornerstone PCA. Part of what that entailed was leading (alongside our wonderful youth director) a week-long mission trip for 7th and 8th graders to Washington DC. In one of our preparation meetings for this trip, our team was brainstorming about what our theme for the week could be, a motto we could use to encourage each other and remind one another why we were there. We came across this verse:

“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” – Philippians 1:21

One of the students suggested our motto be “It’s time to die!” We joked about it at first, but then realized what a powerful phrase that really is – “time to die.” Die to self. Die to selfishness. Die to pride.

Throughout the week in DC, we would remind each other that it was time to die when we were out of our comfort zones making conversations with the homeless, or when we were up at the crack of dawn to serve breakfast at a less-than-pristine shelter, or when we were waiting in line at 5 AM to shower in the cockroach infested bathroom we were sharing with twenty other girls.

Yesterday, for the first time in over a year, I thought about our motto from that mission trip. It was while Joel and I were listening to a talk by Julie Lowe called “One Anothering.” She quoted this passage:

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”– Ephesians 5:1-2

She talked about what being an imitator of Christ would look like in a marriage, and one thing really stuck out to me: Imitating Christ means when I am sinned against, what comes out of me will be a fragrant offering, not a bitter, angry stench. Then, she said that imitating Christ in my marriage means dying to myself… I guess it’s time to die again!

Joel and I have been married eight months now, and honestly, I feel like we are just now getting to the honeymoon stage. Being married has been really hard, really challenging, and really stressful. We are just beginning to learn that marriage can also be really joyful and sanctifying. In our marriage, nothing brings me greater joy than dying – to my selfishness, of course. It can be in the little things: leaving peas out of a recipe (even though I love peas) because Joel hates them; the mid-size things: offering to go home for Easter instead of taking a romantic cruise because otherwise Joel won’t see his family again until November; or even the really big things: moving all over the place, spending a lot of time apart, and just overall supporting him in this crazy Air Force thing.

So, happy Valentine’s Day! Show your spouse how much you love them… How can you die today?