My Three Favorite People...

Me. Myself. I.

I love me. Seriously, Joel is SO lucky to have a wife like me.

I'm not sure why I find myself so wonderful. I can't do simple math in my head. I trip walking up the stairs at least once a week. I have the patience of four-year old. I have a sharp tongue that I use too often and without thinking.

Still, though, I expect people to plan their lives around what is convenient for me. I get frustrated when things don't go the way I want. After I've had a long day, I expect Joel to go out of his way to make me happy - even though he works twice as many hours per week as I do.

It's pretty easy to forget that the world doesn't revolve around me, but these verses serve as a sobering reminder:

Philippians 2:3 & 4 - "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

I can be so selfish and self-centered that I am suprised by my own sinfulness sometimes. But, I am called to so much more. My life would be so much more honoring to the Lord if I thought about other people, especially my husband, as much as I think about myself.

If my three favorite people were the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, the rest of my priorities would fall into place in a much less self-absorbed way. It's something I'm working on. Thankfully, I have a Savior who is patient and forgiving as I try to learn to love me a little less.

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UPT UPDATE:

Joel has been flying T-1's for a few weeks now and continues to do really well. The 12-hour days are weighing on him a little bit, though, and working 5-5 every day is tough on him. Please pray for continued strength and motivation for him.

Finally, we are all looking forward to Christmas break, too!

TEN

I am just thrilled to say that, by the end of May 2012, I will have TEN SISTERS-IN-LAW! In addition to Joel's nine sisters who I get to call my own (and his brother's wonderful wife, who I count as a dear sister-in-law as well), I will get to add a sister on the Paoli side of the family in the spring! My sweet big brother, Timmy, proposed to his girlfriend of over five years on the day before Thanksgiving. We are so happy for them and are praying for their marriage already! Welcome to the family, Nicole!

So excited that Tim has found the helper God made for him!

The ring

Sisters-in-law!

"The man gave names to all the livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man... For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 20-22 & 24

490

"Then Peter came up and said to him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven times.'" - Matthew 18:21 & 22

If you've been married more than eight seconds, you've had to forgive your spouse for something. Since forgiveness is an essential part of two people becoming one, I've been thinking about it a lot recently. So let me share with you the little bit of insight that God has granted me on this subject.

Forgiveness is complete. You cannot forgive partially or half-heartedly. In true, Biblical forgiveness there is no room to say, "I forgive you for this, but when you said that, you just went too far." Forgiveness is complete in such a way that it squeezes out any space in your heart for bitterness or resentment.

Forgiveness is continual. Sometimes you have to forgive someone, especially your spouse (who is a sinner just like you!), for the same sin over and over again. Even when you don't get an apology, you are called to forgive every time you are wronged. Seven times seventy, if my math is correct, is 490. Can you imagine forgiving someone for the same thing 490 times... or even more? Only by the grace of God is continual forgiveness possible.

Forgiveness is commanded. It's not optional. Withholding forgiveness is a sin. "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another, and forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive." - Colossians 3:12 &13

Forgiveness is a lot of things, but easy is not one of them. Let us not forget what we are called to, and let us be intentional about being both seekers and givers of forgiveness.

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As a quick update, I wanted to share with my blog readers (both of you) that Joel's track select went well, and he got the T-1's he was hoping for! Phase three is in full swing now, and Joel is doing very well on his tests and sims. Joel just finished the academic portion of T-1's, and was supposed to have his first actual flight today, but it was post-poned due to the weather. He'll have his first flight of phase three next week, after Thanksgiving break. Thank you for your prayers and support!

Birthday Post!

Ok, so since it's my birthday, I thought we could all take a quick stroll down memory lane:

I've always been a Mama's girl.

I've always had an impeccable sense of style, too.

Sixteenth birthday with my dear friend, Janie:

Eighteenth in West Chester:

Nineteenth birthday and homecoming in West Chester with my new boyfriend:

Twentieth with my family and extended family while Joel was away for training:

UPT Update

Right now, Joel is flying his second to last checkride of T-6's! He has just under two weeks left before he will be T-6 complete. Phase 2 has absolutely flown by, and Joel has made me really proud of him by consistently working hard and doing well. On October 21, the class of 12-09 will track select and move on to either T-1's, T-38's, T-44's, or helicopters. We're still hoping for T-1's for Joel, and feeling confident that he will get a T-1. (Joel's done a great job in pilot training, and most people get T-1's anyway.) I know we'll both miss some of the guys from his flight once everyone moves on, though - he's been blessed with a really sweet group of guys to go through T-6's with!


As for me, I heard a line from a Taylor Swift song on the radio last week that pretty much sums up my life at the moment... "I'm not a princess; life's not a fairytale." Some days are hard: I miss Pennsylvania; I miss college; I feel like I'm not doing anything that matters with my life. If this was supposed to be a fairytale, it would suck. But as far as real life goes, I know that I'm where God wants me to be so I find joy. If Joel was supposed to be Prince Charming, this Disney movie would not be having a happily ever after. But for two sinners trying to become one and learn how to love each other the way God wants us to, we're doing ok.

P.S. These are the sweet little girls who brighten up my day every time I see them. Their family is a blessing to me, and they make living in Mississippi much more enjoyable! :)

Judge and Jury

I don't know about you, but I like to act as judge and jury sometimes. I can be so quick to pass judgement on others, to condemn their behavior or to criticize their words. I find it so easy to assume SO much...

Of course I know that person's life story!
I know exactly what she was thinking!
I definitely see the whole picture.
I understand perfectly the circumstances surrounding this situation.
And two sides to every story? Please, I don't think so!

I find it effortless to pass judgement on other people's words and actions, and discern what they should have said and done instead.

But what about Matthew 7:1 & 2?
"Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

Have you ever stopped and thought about that passage? Just for one week I challenge you to catch yourself everytime you are judging someone else and remember how much we all hate it when we feel like we are being judged. In the little things (like why she should NEVER wear that blouse with those pants) and the big things (like why they haven't had another baby or why he talked to his wife like that), let's all try to be a little slower to act as judge and jury.

"Deceitful above all"

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" - Jeremiah 17:9


Some days, I'm not crazy, head-over-heels in love with Joel. Sometimes, he doesn't give me butterflies and I don't feel giddy when he holds my hand. But even when my deceitful heart doesn't feel in love with Joel, I still love him. I still talk to him and enjoy spending time with him. I cook his dinner and ask him how his day has been.

So, why is it, that when I don't feel close to God, I don't spend time with him? My heart is not trustworthy, so when I am feeling spiritually dry, why do I let my heart convince me that I don't need to have a quiet time today? I know that my heart is sinful and wicked, yet I still find myself using how my heart feels to determine how much I talk to God and seek quality time with him. It seems to me like it's time to stop letting my often-changing emotions interfere with the effort I put into my relationship with my savior... especially when I know better than to do that with my husband!

Just a thought to start off the week.

Red Light, Green Light

I'm sure you are all familiar with the classic, childhood game "Red light, green light." If not, it's pretty simple. Basically, one lucky kid gets to be the traffic signal, and all of the other kids try to race to that person, freezing in their tracks upon hearing "red light" and sprinting as fast as possible when the traffic signal kid says "green light."

Well, I must admit, I have been known to run a few red lights in my day (in multiple ways...). Sometimes I feel like I am playing a cosmic game of red light, green light with God as the traffic signal. To me, the whole game begs the question - where is the yellow light?! But that's beside the point. When God says, "green light" I proceed full-steam ahead into whatever He is calling me to do. (Joel and I are both "all or nothing" type of people.) And then when God gives me a red light, well, red lights are no fun.

And right now, I'm at a red light. Recently, Joel and I made the difficult decision to put my education on hold indefinitely. I am not sure if this blog is the appropriate forum to announce this because, honestly, I feel like I am disappointing a few people, but oh well. In particular there are a few people from West Chester, and my sweet, older brother who I looked in the eye and promised that I would finish my degree. I was adamant that marrying Joel would not mean sacrificing my degree... but you try running one of God's red lights.

When I went to enroll for fall classes through Liberty, I found out that they had changed the requirements for the degree program I was in and I was going to have to take several additional classes. Taking more classes meant more money out of pocket and several more semesters of my time. So Joel and I prayed about it for a while and finally both concluded that this is a door that God has closed. Especially with Joel dealing with all of the stress and long hours of pilot training, it was tough on our marriage for me to be stressed out and studying all the time, too.

Speaking of pilot training, Joel is doing really well. Praise God - He seems to have really given Joel a natural ability when it comes to this stuff. Joel's air sickness seems to have gone away and he is getting great scores on his check-rides. Thanks for the prayers and please keep them coming! I'll do a better job keeping up with the blog now that summer is winding down. :)

Phase 2 & Year 2

Phase 2

As of June 9, Joel is in phase two of pilot training! That means that he has moved out of academics and on to flying T-6's. It also means that he works 12 hours every day... last week he worked from 9 til 9, and this week he is working 5 to 5 - plus at least an hour of studying every night when he gets home. It's really tough on him, so please keep him in your prayers. He got airsick on his first flight and got passive airsickness on his second flight. This morning the flight doctor diagnosed him with "stress and fatigue" (shocking, I know, that someone might be stressed and fatigued by having to get up at 4 AM, work 12 hours, study, and never see his wife... all while remembering that everything he does has a lasting impact on his career). So, Joel is "DNIF" for a little while (that's Air Force lingo for not being allowed to fly) until he is feeling better.

Year 2

Sunday, June 12, was our one year anniversary. That means we have moved out of the honeymoon stage and on to... wait a minute! Hold the presses! We missed the honeymoon stage! Excuse me while I mentally review the past year...... nope, no honeymoon stage.

I'll never forget a conversation we had with one of the parents from New Covenant last summer. It was at the Cherokee mission trip car wash fundraiser (AKA the hottest day of the summer), and we'd been married about a month and a half. This well-meaning parent came up to us smiling and said, "It's the newlyweds! So, tell me, is married life everything you thought it would be?!" Joel and I (reflecting upon the E. Coli, UTI, and kidney infection that had already plagued me, the long hours we were both working, and the constant bickering over the "right" way to do the dishes, make the bed, etc.) both instantly responded, "No." This poor woman was only taken aback for half a second before she replied, "Oh, that's so sweet! It's not everything you expected - it's more! How wonderful!" We didn't have the heart to tell her she was crazy to think any newlyweds were happy, so we just walked away.

So, no, we did not get to experience a honeymoon stage of marriage. Instead we had a challenging first year of marriage marked by a 1,000 mile move, several illnesses, and lots of fighting. I would not relive this year for anything in the world. However, this has also been one of the most sanctifying years of my life, filled with dying to self and learning to trust in God's faithfulness. I truly love Joel now more than I did on our wedding day, because I understand a little bit better what love really is and what it looks like to selflessly love a sinner. Now we are facing year two together with joy and peace, knowing that God will always be faithful to us.

In honor of our one year anniversary, we had a romantic candlelight dinner.

I made all of our favorite foods, plus a delicious turtle cheesecake for dessert.

We had a lovely evening at home together!

Oh wait, did I forget to mention why we had dinner at home? Well, it was to save money, because of this:

That would be the 2008 Ford Escape that Joel bought for me as an early anniversary present! I am so thankful to have a reliable car to take on all my trips this summer!

Memorial Day Weekend/Murphy's Law

To celebrate the long weekend, Joel and I decided to spend three days/two nights on the beach at Pensacola Naval Air Station in the Sunshine State. Things started off ok, although we left at about 11 AM on Saturday instead of 7:30 AM like we intended. (We had a little last-minute drama regarding dog sitting.) Anyway, we were checked into the hotel and on the beach by 4:30.

After about an hour, we went and got cleaned up for dinner and then went to "The Crab Trap" and enjoyed a crab FEAST! Not a bad start to the weekend, right?

Moving on to Sunday - we hit the beach around 10:30 with our picnic lunch in tow. Let me just say: I believe in sunscreen. I am not one of those people who just says "Whatever, I'll burn but then it will turn into a tan." No, I wear sunscreen. So immediately upon setting up our "spot" on the beach, I put on sunscreen. Now, I only started out with SPF 12 "tanning lotion," but then I faithfully reapplied with SPF 30 about once every 45 minutes. After three hours of relaxing, swimming, and reading we decided to call it a day... only to discover we had both been burnt to a crisp. For the record, Joel only put sunscreen on one time, and I got just as burnt as he did.

Next, we thought a little shopping trip would be fun. However, five minutes into our drive my car started shaking. hmm that's interesting... Then, it refused to shift and would not go above 35 MPH. That can't be good And to top it all off, a rancid burnt odor started pouring into the car. So much for our shopping trip.

We made it back to base ok, and still decided to venture out for a romantic, delicious dinner at the Melting Pot. Dinner was the best part of the evening, because when we got back to the hotel, we realized we were too sunburnt to do anything - including sleep. We both had a little sun poisoning and were still feeling pretty nauseous and miserable when we got up this morning.

So, instead of taking my car to the mechanic like we had been planning on, we decided to just drive home. My car, Penelope, held in there like a trooper... until we were about 100 miles from Columbus. That's when my driver's side rear tire literally shredded off my car - easily the worst blow out either of us had seen. So, while Joel changed the tire (in the blazing sun) I trekked a mile up the highway (in the scorching Mississippi sun) in search of the hubcap that had come off. No luck.

After that little adventure, we proceeded to drive the next few hours at 50 mph until - praise the Lord we made it back to our house safe and sound.

What should have been a fairly inexpensive weekend away (staying on the Navy base and only buying two meals) has now put us in the market for a new car. But ohhh the memories we will have of Memorial Day 2011!



This was the memorial on Mustin Beach at Pensacola NAS.

Thank you to those who have given their lives in service of our country. You are not forgotten.

May Update - Working unto the Lord

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." - Colossians 3:17

Phase I of pilot training is in full swing, and let me just say that I am really impressed (and a little suprised) by my husband! Joel wasn't exactly the most studious and devoted student in college. Specifically during his senior year, his motto was "C's get degrees!" However, the academic phase of UPT has brought out a whole new side of him. He studies diligently every night and has gotten 100's on almost all of his tests, with a few 90-somethings thrown in here and there. He is truly excelling and I could not be more proud of him! His work ethic is a testimony and encouragement to his classmates and to me.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as if working for the Lord, and not for men." -Colossians 3:23

As for me, I recently started a part time job: ~20 hours a week doing retail and deliveries at a beauty supply store- which is a huge blessing! I work great hours and have been really enjoying learning about all kinds of cool products and learning my way around Mississippi! Also, last week I started taking two classes online through Liberty University. Since it's a shortened 8 week summer session, the course load is pretty intense, but I'm trying to follow Joel's example and work as if unto the Lord in all I do!

I'm also trying my hand at not killing every plant I touch:

Joel and I spent a sunny Saturday afternoon weeding, mulching, and planting these beautiful flowers... unfortunately, the bugs think they taste delicious so they no longer look quite so perfect. :)

Tornado Relief - Please read!

As many of you know, yesterday's tornadoes were deadly and devastating here in the southern states. They left a wake of destruction (especially through Tuscaloosa, Alabama) that needs to be addressed immediately. I think that all of us need to take action, at least in some way. I am currently working on heading up some disaster relief efforts with the hope that many, if not all, of you will join in alongside me - even those of you who live 1,000 miles away.

For those of you here in Mississippi - Please be advised: I spoke with our local chapter of the American Red Cross this morning, and they are strongly requesting that no-one venture into the affected areas yet. Many attempts to help are just creating more chaos and endangering people who are putting themselves in harm's way with the best of intentions.

After speaking with the Red Cross, I think that there are three important ways we can help. One is fundraising - first, take a moment to visit redcross.org to see how donations will be used and give as you feel called.

Secondly, the Red Cross is compiling a list of names and phone numbers of people interested in volunteering in person with the disaster relief. As I mentioned earlier, they are NOT sending anyone into the tornado-afflicted areas just yet. However, they are making these lists so that they can mobilize disaster relief teams as soon as it is safe to do so. I submitted my information, and if you would like to do so too, call 662-842-6101. Also, please send me an email (hpaoliloftus@gmail.com) to let me know that you are interested in volunteering so that we can go in groups and organize car-pools when the time comes. Please feel free to contact me with questions, concerns, to volunteer, etc.

The third thing that we can and should all be doing is praying. Do not underestimate the power of the One who we pray to.

And for those of you back home - in addition to praying, consider whether you are able to give financially. You can give directly through redcross.org. Remember that all donations are tax deductible.

The Magnolia State

After a wonderful month at home in Pennsylvania for me and a stressful month in Colorado for IFS for Joel, we are finally back in Mississippi.

You'll have to excuse me for not blogging so faithfully lately, but we have started to get rather busy! All you've missed are a few tornado warnings and me having all four wisdom teeth pulled (and no, you can't see a picture of me with "balloon face" as Joel's little sister called it!).

Let me update you on Joel first, since he has a very exciting day today! Today is Joel's first day of pilot training here in Columbus! (It's officially called "UPT" for "Undergraduate Pilot Training," but I don't think there is "graduate pilot training" so it seems like a silly name to me.)

Anyway, let me give you a quick overview of UPT so that you can stay up to date on what Joel is doing. First up is Phase I - Academics. Joel will be doing lots of studying and test taking and have very little of a social life during Phase I. Phase II, which will start in June, is the "T-6" phase - he will fly a generic training airplane that everyone flies in pilot training. He will do lots of flying and studying and airplane stuff, and have very little free time. Then, Joel will have a "track select" which is a little ceremony where everyone in his UPT class (Class 12-09) will find out what aircraft they will be flying in Phase III. T-1's and T-38's are available at Columbus, but there are a few different options at other bases. T-1's prepare you to fly "heavies" (cargo planes) and T-38's send you the fighter/bomber route. Joel is hoping to get T-1's so he can eventually fly C-17's, C-130's, or C-5's. Phase three will officially end on 18 May 2012, with the class of 12-09's graduation. (A few weeks prior to this is "Assignment Night," which is where Joel finds out what airplane he gets to fly and what base we'll be going to next.)

The next 13 months of UPT are going to be challenging and, at times, over-whelming for Joel, so please keep him in your prayers. We're both a little concerned about the stress it will put on Joel and the strain it will inevitably put on our marriage. So please don't forget about us down here in Mississippi - we covet your prayers!

One last thing - A quick update about me. I am going to be taking classes online through Libery University starting on May 16. I will be working towards an Associate's Degree in Christian Counseling. Most of my credits from West Chester will transfer, so I'll only need seven classes through liberty. I plan to graduate in May 2012, and we'll just have to wait and see what the Lord calls me to do from there. I'm not thrilled that I'm venturing away from my dream of being a teacher, but God has firmly shut that door, at least for now.

As far as the job hunt goes, I have a few promising leads right now that I'm pretty excited about. In the meantime, God has provided a part-time job for me through a temp agency at an office where I truly enjoy working. I work for there sporadically and miss having a consistent schedule, but the owner and office manager are wonderful Christian people with Southern accents to boot!

Brotherly Love

"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity." - I Timothy 4:12

Like most siblings, my older brother and I fought constantly as kids. I think my mom would have gladly given either one of us to any passerby just to have some peace from our bickering... There was the time I chomped into Tim's back because we were playing Hansel and Gretel and he was the wicked witch but wouldn't go in the oven. And of course every long car-ride came with wails of, "He's on my siiiiide!"

Fortunately, by the time I was in high school, I counted Tim as one of my best friends. He never got too cool to hang out with me. He was never afraid to speak up and tell his friends to include me. My lack of coordination and athleticism wasn't a good enough reason to exclude me from any game or sport. Tim has always set a stellar example for me in good sportsmanship, too.

My most meaningful memories with my brother don't start until he graduated high school, though. Despite some pressure from our parents, Tim chose not to go to college. Instead, he jumped right in and started working hard at an incredible job. He also started volunteering with our church's junior high youth group and the 6-12th grade boys' ministry, where he continues to serve to this day. It was during this time that the example he was setting for me in his life and his faith became invaluable to me.

When I graduated high school two years after Tim and started attending college, I was afraid Tim and I would grow apart. But Tim wouldn't stand for that; he continued to invest in my life even once it meant going out of his way and putting in a lot more effort. My brother is an "actions speak louder than words" kind of guy. During my freshman year, I started pursuing a relationship that was not honoring to the Lord. Tim could have fallen into the typical "older brother" role and told the guy to stay away from his sister... or else! Instead, Tim drove up to my dorm after work, picked me up at my door, took me out to a nice dinner (which he paid for), and then went to Campus Crusade with me and met all my friends. It was like Tim was saying, "I'm only ok with this guy if he treats you like this." It was so much more meaningful than if Tim had sat me down and said he didn't approve of the guy I liked. (Tim actually took me out to a scrumptious dinner at Red Lobster just last week, to remind me how much he loves me.)

In his 4+ year relationship with his girlfriend, Tim has set a commendable example for me in purity. He treats his girlfriend with respect, love, and loyalty. I don't know that I could have married Joel if Tim didn't like him from day one. It's not that I seek my brother's approval; I desire his respect because I value his opinion so much. God has given him insight and wisdom beyond his years. (Pause for just a second and acknowledge what a testament Tim is to my mom and dad's Godly, loving parenting and to the power of Christ in someone's life.)

Many people call him friend, two call him son, but only I get to call him brother, and I couldn't be more honored. I love you, Timmy!

Becoming Bilingual

How do you say, "I love you?"


If your spouse bought you a dozen roses or a beautiful pair of earrings for no reason, would it remind you how loved you are?

If your other half suprised you by sweeping and mopping the floors while you were out one afternoon, would you feel cherised?

What if your husband wrote you a poem, telling you exactly what he appreciates about you?

What if he skipped football night with the boys to just be with you and watch your favorite show?

If your spouse gave you a back rub, kissed you, and took a moment to just hold you amidst the craziness of daily life, would you know you're his beloved?


Whether or not they've taken the time to read his books or not, many people are familiar with Dr. Gary Chapman's theory about the "Five Love Languages:" 1. Gifts, 2. Acts of Service, 3. Words of affirmation, 4. Quality time, and 5. Physical touch.

What says "I love you," to you? Your love language is how you receive love most meaningfully, and it's also how you are most likely to communicate love to someone else.

I "speak" quality time and touch while Joel speaks words of affirmation and touch. One of the hardest things about being married, especially to a military man, has been learning to receive and express love in different ways.

While Joel has been away at IFS, I've thrown a pity party or two because we can't have quality time or physical touch. He's two time zones away, and we're lucky to get to talk for twenty minutes a night. Joel has done his best to make me feel loved long-distance, but somehow it's just not the same. He sent me my favorite flowers.

He wrote me sweet notes. He's done everything he can, and it's totally unfair for me to ask anything more of him. So instead of complaining, I'm trying to become bilingual. Becoming bilingual means more than accepting Joel's actions and words as genuine acts of love and devotion, though. It means being intentional about reaching out to Joel through his love languages.

Especially when we first got married, I felt a little uncomfortable giving Joel specific compliments and telling him I'm proud of him. But that's what he needs. When I tell Joel the things I love and appreciate about him or thank him for how hard he works, he hears more than just the words I'm saying. To him, it says "I love you." It's difficult to be unselfish in how I express love to Joel. My tendency would be to do the things that would say "I love you" to me (i.e. quality time), but if something is getting lost in translation, and Joel is missing part of my message, I need to lay aside my pride, put in a little extra effort, and speak the language that he understands the best.

So, just a thought for my married and engaged followers: Do you speak to your significant other in his/her love language, or yours?

The Weirdly-Shaped State

Ok, so I have to admit, I'm not sure what the Marlyand state slogan or nickname is! Regardless though, I had an awesome time visiting my family-in-law in Maryland last weekend. The drive from Kentucky was a little rough, and my car decided to scare me by overheating and having the check engine light come on while I was making the almost 12 hour drive. A mechanic thoroughly checked her out this week, though, and it turns out there is absolutely nothing wrong with her. (Yes, my car is a "her," named Penelope after the character in The Odyssey.) Anyway, my car and I made it safely to Maryland last Friday.

Let me just say, I love my siblings-in-law. I always feel so welcomed, wanted, and truly cherished when I visit them. My sisters-in-law especially are amazing, and I could not be more blessed and honored to have them in my life.

Anyway, in true Loftus fashion, it is never too cold for a snoball, so on Saturday we bundled up and headed to the snoball stand!

Yes, that's snow you see on the left in the parking lot!

That's enough about me. So, let me give you a quick update on Joel. He experienced a little altitude sickness the first week at IFS but seems to be adjusted now. He has been doing really well on all his tests, and even started flying this week. He was pleased with how his first flight went, which is a good thing. He woke up a little sick this morning though, so please keep praying for him!

The Bluegrass State

After taking an accidental detour in Alabama and hitting some traffic in Nashville, I made it to my grandparents' home in Kentucky. I only spent two days there, but I made sure I got in lots of quality time with them and with my sweet baby cousin.

He would smile for me, but as soon as I would take the picture and he'd see the flash, he would make that face. He's still pretty cute though!

We also took him to visit my 103 year old great-grandmother, who adores him.

I'm safe and sound at my parents' in Pennsylvania now, but I'll tell you about the second leg of my road trip a little later.

As for Joel, he is in Colorado and already hard at work at IFS. His days start with breakfast at 5 AM and go non-stop until 6 PM. He's been doing a lot of studying, and seems to be doing well so far. Joel has been experiencing a little bit of altitude sickness, so we are hoping that it goes away before he begins flying... we think it would make motion sickness much more likely. His first flight is Monday morning, so keep him in your prayers!

Road Trips

There are some pretty big changes coming up in the Loftus house this week, namely, that it's going to be empty!

Tomorrow morning, Joel and his friends Mark and Gianluigi will be driving to Colorado where all three of them will have to complete Initial Flight Screening. They are planning on taking two days to make the 20-hour drive, and then they will in-process on Monday, February 28. Please keep them in your prayers.

For those of you not well-versed in Air Force lingo, IFS is a mandatory program prior to the start of pilot training. It usually takes four weeks to complete, meaning Joel is anticipating being there from March 1 - April 1. IFS is intended to "weed out" those who will not be able to cut it as pilots before the Air Force has invested a lot of time and money in them. In other words, it's intense, and it's a big deal. Also, IFS is an "unaccompanied" TDY, meaning that spouses are not allowed to tag along, or even visit for a weekend.

Calvin and I will be taking a road trip of our own while Joel is away. Originally, I had been planning on flying home for a week while Joel is in Colorado. Then, my school situation changed and the opportunity to go to PA for the whole month presented itself. Joel and I deliberated and prayed about this option for quite a while. Ultimately, we concluded that this opportunity is a really special blessing. God is allowing me to spend time with my family to ease the loneliness of being away from Joel.

Anyway, Calvin and I will be departing Tuesday, March 1 to drive North to my grandparent's home in Kentucky - about a 7 hour drive. I'll spend a few days there visiting my extended family, including my 103 year old great-grandmother! Next, I'll head East for approximately 11 hours to visit the little Lofti in Maryland. Finally, I'll head an hour North to Pennsylvania to see my incredible parents and brother. Also on the agenda are a visit to West Chester and a possible trip to Carlo's Bakery. (AKA Cake Boss!) So, there's your update. Hopefully, I'll be seeing many of you soon!

Laboring in Vain

Proverbs 19:21 - "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand."

I'm a planner. I have a schedule in my mind, and when things don't go according to that plan, I usually don't take it very well. Joel is much more spontaneous and spur of the moment than I am; he loves to say, "Go big or go home." And I'm fine with that... as long as it's on the calendar. (We can "go big" on Monday between 11 and 4.) I'm opposed to last minute plans just because they are last minute... even if I can't think of a good reason NOT to go somewhere or do something, I'm extremely hesitant to do anything that I don't already have written in my mental day planner. I love to schedule. Perhaps that's because it's a form of control; I like to have a say in what's going on and when it's going on. I'm not very good at letting go and trusting that the Lord's purpose will prevail. Therefore, God has put the Air Force in my life.

Update: Joel just got moved up one class in pilot training. As of Tuesday, he is in class 12-09, not 12-10. All that essentially means is that he will start pilot training in April instead of May, and then will complete UPT one month earlier. It does not affect his IFS dates: March 1- April 1. He will still be leaving next Saturday to drive to Colorado with two other LT's. That's what him being moved up OFFICIALLY means. But I was honestly pretty upset when we found out, because to me it means the trip home for Easter that we had planned (and made the mistake of telling our families - including all the little Lofti who desperately miss their big brother - about) now has to be cancelled. It means that the romantic weekend we were planning for the weekend before Easter is out the window, too. Because, you see, we are not allowed to take leave within 10 days of when Joel starts pilot training. It also means that instead of having a relaxing month to enjoy together between the separation mandated by IFS and the beginning of the stress caused by UPT, we will have a week. It means that all the plans I had tediously made for our last month of freedom, are ruined. And then this occurred to me:

Psalm 127:1 - "Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain..."

I made plans, created expectations, and got my hopes up over things I had not yet committed to the Lord in prayer. I had my mind made up on how our lives would go, and for that matter, SHOULD go for the month of April. I've been laboring in vain.

So, now what? Well, I'm praying that I will learn to walk JOYFULLY by faith, and not resent it when I can't walk by sight. It's scary though. Pilot training scares me. I cried to Joel Tuesday night, "I don't want you to start pilot training! I don't want you to work 12 hour days and then be preoccupied and have to study when you get home! I want you to have time for me!" As soon as I said it, I knew how childish I sounded. But there it is: there is the selfishness of my heart. So, I'm praying that while I learn to walk by faith, I will also learn not to worry about things I can't control.

Luke 12:22 & 24-31 - "And Jesus said to his disciples, 'Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on...Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? If then, you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you."

Making plans without consulting God and worrying about things that are 100% beyond my control are both huge wastes of time, and I don't recommend them. Maybe you should consider what you're laboring in vain over today.

Valentine's Day: A time to die

In the summer of 2009, I had the incredible opportunity to be the youth intern at my home church – Cornerstone PCA. Part of what that entailed was leading (alongside our wonderful youth director) a week-long mission trip for 7th and 8th graders to Washington DC. In one of our preparation meetings for this trip, our team was brainstorming about what our theme for the week could be, a motto we could use to encourage each other and remind one another why we were there. We came across this verse:

“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” – Philippians 1:21

One of the students suggested our motto be “It’s time to die!” We joked about it at first, but then realized what a powerful phrase that really is – “time to die.” Die to self. Die to selfishness. Die to pride.

Throughout the week in DC, we would remind each other that it was time to die when we were out of our comfort zones making conversations with the homeless, or when we were up at the crack of dawn to serve breakfast at a less-than-pristine shelter, or when we were waiting in line at 5 AM to shower in the cockroach infested bathroom we were sharing with twenty other girls.

Yesterday, for the first time in over a year, I thought about our motto from that mission trip. It was while Joel and I were listening to a talk by Julie Lowe called “One Anothering.” She quoted this passage:

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”– Ephesians 5:1-2

She talked about what being an imitator of Christ would look like in a marriage, and one thing really stuck out to me: Imitating Christ means when I am sinned against, what comes out of me will be a fragrant offering, not a bitter, angry stench. Then, she said that imitating Christ in my marriage means dying to myself… I guess it’s time to die again!

Joel and I have been married eight months now, and honestly, I feel like we are just now getting to the honeymoon stage. Being married has been really hard, really challenging, and really stressful. We are just beginning to learn that marriage can also be really joyful and sanctifying. In our marriage, nothing brings me greater joy than dying – to my selfishness, of course. It can be in the little things: leaving peas out of a recipe (even though I love peas) because Joel hates them; the mid-size things: offering to go home for Easter instead of taking a romantic cruise because otherwise Joel won’t see his family again until November; or even the really big things: moving all over the place, spending a lot of time apart, and just overall supporting him in this crazy Air Force thing.

So, happy Valentine’s Day! Show your spouse how much you love them… How can you die today?

Welcome!

I've been wanting to start blogging for a few months now, but for this reason or that I kept talking myself out of it. Anyway, here it is at last. My hope is that this will be a convenient way for our families back in Pennsylvania and Maryland and our friends all over the U.S. to keep up with what's going on in our lives. My plan is to update you on our general activities now that we are in Mississippi and, specifically, on Joel's progress through pilot training.

So, here's your first update! Joel is just over two weeks from leaving for IFS (Initial Flight Screening) in Colorado, where he'll be for four weeks. He's excited and a little nervous at the same time - it's scary to think that everything he's been dreaming of and counting on for years could all fall through, but we are trusting God to protect him and help him at IFS. And I know he will do just fine. I can't wait to be married to a pilot. :)

My school situation is, unfortunately, up in the air. I've applied to three online universities and am prayerfully waiting to hear back from them. I am also waiting and praying for a job! I've put in about a dozen applications around Columbus, but no luck yet.

In other news, it SNOWED in Mississippi... I wasn't too excited about it, but everyone down here thinks it's a big deal so I'm attempting enthusiasm. It's a little funny to me to see how much everyone panics when it snows in MS; at least Joel didn't have to go in to work til 9:30!