490

"Then Peter came up and said to him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven times.'" - Matthew 18:21 & 22

If you've been married more than eight seconds, you've had to forgive your spouse for something. Since forgiveness is an essential part of two people becoming one, I've been thinking about it a lot recently. So let me share with you the little bit of insight that God has granted me on this subject.

Forgiveness is complete. You cannot forgive partially or half-heartedly. In true, Biblical forgiveness there is no room to say, "I forgive you for this, but when you said that, you just went too far." Forgiveness is complete in such a way that it squeezes out any space in your heart for bitterness or resentment.

Forgiveness is continual. Sometimes you have to forgive someone, especially your spouse (who is a sinner just like you!), for the same sin over and over again. Even when you don't get an apology, you are called to forgive every time you are wronged. Seven times seventy, if my math is correct, is 490. Can you imagine forgiving someone for the same thing 490 times... or even more? Only by the grace of God is continual forgiveness possible.

Forgiveness is commanded. It's not optional. Withholding forgiveness is a sin. "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another, and forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive." - Colossians 3:12 &13

Forgiveness is a lot of things, but easy is not one of them. Let us not forget what we are called to, and let us be intentional about being both seekers and givers of forgiveness.

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As a quick update, I wanted to share with my blog readers (both of you) that Joel's track select went well, and he got the T-1's he was hoping for! Phase three is in full swing now, and Joel is doing very well on his tests and sims. Joel just finished the academic portion of T-1's, and was supposed to have his first actual flight today, but it was post-poned due to the weather. He'll have his first flight of phase three next week, after Thanksgiving break. Thank you for your prayers and support!

Birthday Post!

Ok, so since it's my birthday, I thought we could all take a quick stroll down memory lane:

I've always been a Mama's girl.

I've always had an impeccable sense of style, too.

Sixteenth birthday with my dear friend, Janie:

Eighteenth in West Chester:

Nineteenth birthday and homecoming in West Chester with my new boyfriend:

Twentieth with my family and extended family while Joel was away for training:

UPT Update

Right now, Joel is flying his second to last checkride of T-6's! He has just under two weeks left before he will be T-6 complete. Phase 2 has absolutely flown by, and Joel has made me really proud of him by consistently working hard and doing well. On October 21, the class of 12-09 will track select and move on to either T-1's, T-38's, T-44's, or helicopters. We're still hoping for T-1's for Joel, and feeling confident that he will get a T-1. (Joel's done a great job in pilot training, and most people get T-1's anyway.) I know we'll both miss some of the guys from his flight once everyone moves on, though - he's been blessed with a really sweet group of guys to go through T-6's with!


As for me, I heard a line from a Taylor Swift song on the radio last week that pretty much sums up my life at the moment... "I'm not a princess; life's not a fairytale." Some days are hard: I miss Pennsylvania; I miss college; I feel like I'm not doing anything that matters with my life. If this was supposed to be a fairytale, it would suck. But as far as real life goes, I know that I'm where God wants me to be so I find joy. If Joel was supposed to be Prince Charming, this Disney movie would not be having a happily ever after. But for two sinners trying to become one and learn how to love each other the way God wants us to, we're doing ok.

P.S. These are the sweet little girls who brighten up my day every time I see them. Their family is a blessing to me, and they make living in Mississippi much more enjoyable! :)

Judge and Jury

I don't know about you, but I like to act as judge and jury sometimes. I can be so quick to pass judgement on others, to condemn their behavior or to criticize their words. I find it so easy to assume SO much...

Of course I know that person's life story!
I know exactly what she was thinking!
I definitely see the whole picture.
I understand perfectly the circumstances surrounding this situation.
And two sides to every story? Please, I don't think so!

I find it effortless to pass judgement on other people's words and actions, and discern what they should have said and done instead.

But what about Matthew 7:1 & 2?
"Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

Have you ever stopped and thought about that passage? Just for one week I challenge you to catch yourself everytime you are judging someone else and remember how much we all hate it when we feel like we are being judged. In the little things (like why she should NEVER wear that blouse with those pants) and the big things (like why they haven't had another baby or why he talked to his wife like that), let's all try to be a little slower to act as judge and jury.

"Deceitful above all"

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" - Jeremiah 17:9


Some days, I'm not crazy, head-over-heels in love with Joel. Sometimes, he doesn't give me butterflies and I don't feel giddy when he holds my hand. But even when my deceitful heart doesn't feel in love with Joel, I still love him. I still talk to him and enjoy spending time with him. I cook his dinner and ask him how his day has been.

So, why is it, that when I don't feel close to God, I don't spend time with him? My heart is not trustworthy, so when I am feeling spiritually dry, why do I let my heart convince me that I don't need to have a quiet time today? I know that my heart is sinful and wicked, yet I still find myself using how my heart feels to determine how much I talk to God and seek quality time with him. It seems to me like it's time to stop letting my often-changing emotions interfere with the effort I put into my relationship with my savior... especially when I know better than to do that with my husband!

Just a thought to start off the week.

Red Light, Green Light

I'm sure you are all familiar with the classic, childhood game "Red light, green light." If not, it's pretty simple. Basically, one lucky kid gets to be the traffic signal, and all of the other kids try to race to that person, freezing in their tracks upon hearing "red light" and sprinting as fast as possible when the traffic signal kid says "green light."

Well, I must admit, I have been known to run a few red lights in my day (in multiple ways...). Sometimes I feel like I am playing a cosmic game of red light, green light with God as the traffic signal. To me, the whole game begs the question - where is the yellow light?! But that's beside the point. When God says, "green light" I proceed full-steam ahead into whatever He is calling me to do. (Joel and I are both "all or nothing" type of people.) And then when God gives me a red light, well, red lights are no fun.

And right now, I'm at a red light. Recently, Joel and I made the difficult decision to put my education on hold indefinitely. I am not sure if this blog is the appropriate forum to announce this because, honestly, I feel like I am disappointing a few people, but oh well. In particular there are a few people from West Chester, and my sweet, older brother who I looked in the eye and promised that I would finish my degree. I was adamant that marrying Joel would not mean sacrificing my degree... but you try running one of God's red lights.

When I went to enroll for fall classes through Liberty, I found out that they had changed the requirements for the degree program I was in and I was going to have to take several additional classes. Taking more classes meant more money out of pocket and several more semesters of my time. So Joel and I prayed about it for a while and finally both concluded that this is a door that God has closed. Especially with Joel dealing with all of the stress and long hours of pilot training, it was tough on our marriage for me to be stressed out and studying all the time, too.

Speaking of pilot training, Joel is doing really well. Praise God - He seems to have really given Joel a natural ability when it comes to this stuff. Joel's air sickness seems to have gone away and he is getting great scores on his check-rides. Thanks for the prayers and please keep them coming! I'll do a better job keeping up with the blog now that summer is winding down. :)

Phase 2 & Year 2

Phase 2

As of June 9, Joel is in phase two of pilot training! That means that he has moved out of academics and on to flying T-6's. It also means that he works 12 hours every day... last week he worked from 9 til 9, and this week he is working 5 to 5 - plus at least an hour of studying every night when he gets home. It's really tough on him, so please keep him in your prayers. He got airsick on his first flight and got passive airsickness on his second flight. This morning the flight doctor diagnosed him with "stress and fatigue" (shocking, I know, that someone might be stressed and fatigued by having to get up at 4 AM, work 12 hours, study, and never see his wife... all while remembering that everything he does has a lasting impact on his career). So, Joel is "DNIF" for a little while (that's Air Force lingo for not being allowed to fly) until he is feeling better.

Year 2

Sunday, June 12, was our one year anniversary. That means we have moved out of the honeymoon stage and on to... wait a minute! Hold the presses! We missed the honeymoon stage! Excuse me while I mentally review the past year...... nope, no honeymoon stage.

I'll never forget a conversation we had with one of the parents from New Covenant last summer. It was at the Cherokee mission trip car wash fundraiser (AKA the hottest day of the summer), and we'd been married about a month and a half. This well-meaning parent came up to us smiling and said, "It's the newlyweds! So, tell me, is married life everything you thought it would be?!" Joel and I (reflecting upon the E. Coli, UTI, and kidney infection that had already plagued me, the long hours we were both working, and the constant bickering over the "right" way to do the dishes, make the bed, etc.) both instantly responded, "No." This poor woman was only taken aback for half a second before she replied, "Oh, that's so sweet! It's not everything you expected - it's more! How wonderful!" We didn't have the heart to tell her she was crazy to think any newlyweds were happy, so we just walked away.

So, no, we did not get to experience a honeymoon stage of marriage. Instead we had a challenging first year of marriage marked by a 1,000 mile move, several illnesses, and lots of fighting. I would not relive this year for anything in the world. However, this has also been one of the most sanctifying years of my life, filled with dying to self and learning to trust in God's faithfulness. I truly love Joel now more than I did on our wedding day, because I understand a little bit better what love really is and what it looks like to selflessly love a sinner. Now we are facing year two together with joy and peace, knowing that God will always be faithful to us.

In honor of our one year anniversary, we had a romantic candlelight dinner.

I made all of our favorite foods, plus a delicious turtle cheesecake for dessert.

We had a lovely evening at home together!

Oh wait, did I forget to mention why we had dinner at home? Well, it was to save money, because of this:

That would be the 2008 Ford Escape that Joel bought for me as an early anniversary present! I am so thankful to have a reliable car to take on all my trips this summer!