"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" - Jeremiah 17:9
Some days, I'm not crazy, head-over-heels in love with Joel. Sometimes, he doesn't give me butterflies and I don't feel giddy when he holds my hand. But even when my deceitful heart doesn't feel in love with Joel, I still love him. I still talk to him and enjoy spending time with him. I cook his dinner and ask him how his day has been.
So, why is it, that when I don't feel close to God, I don't spend time with him? My heart is not trustworthy, so when I am feeling spiritually dry, why do I let my heart convince me that I don't need to have a quiet time today? I know that my heart is sinful and wicked, yet I still find myself using how my heart feels to determine how much I talk to God and seek quality time with him. It seems to me like it's time to stop letting my often-changing emotions interfere with the effort I put into my relationship with my savior... especially when I know better than to do that with my husband!
Just a thought to start off the week.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Red Light, Green Light
I'm sure you are all familiar with the classic, childhood game "Red light, green light." If not, it's pretty simple. Basically, one lucky kid gets to be the traffic signal, and all of the other kids try to race to that person, freezing in their tracks upon hearing "red light" and sprinting as fast as possible when the traffic signal kid says "green light."
Well, I must admit, I have been known to run a few red lights in my day (in multiple ways...). Sometimes I feel like I am playing a cosmic game of red light, green light with God as the traffic signal. To me, the whole game begs the question - where is the yellow light?! But that's beside the point. When God says, "green light" I proceed full-steam ahead into whatever He is calling me to do. (Joel and I are both "all or nothing" type of people.) And then when God gives me a red light, well, red lights are no fun.
And right now, I'm at a red light. Recently, Joel and I made the difficult decision to put my education on hold indefinitely. I am not sure if this blog is the appropriate forum to announce this because, honestly, I feel like I am disappointing a few people, but oh well. In particular there are a few people from West Chester, and my sweet, older brother who I looked in the eye and promised that I would finish my degree. I was adamant that marrying Joel would not mean sacrificing my degree... but you try running one of God's red lights.
When I went to enroll for fall classes through Liberty, I found out that they had changed the requirements for the degree program I was in and I was going to have to take several additional classes. Taking more classes meant more money out of pocket and several more semesters of my time. So Joel and I prayed about it for a while and finally both concluded that this is a door that God has closed. Especially with Joel dealing with all of the stress and long hours of pilot training, it was tough on our marriage for me to be stressed out and studying all the time, too.
Speaking of pilot training, Joel is doing really well. Praise God - He seems to have really given Joel a natural ability when it comes to this stuff. Joel's air sickness seems to have gone away and he is getting great scores on his check-rides. Thanks for the prayers and please keep them coming! I'll do a better job keeping up with the blog now that summer is winding down. :)
Well, I must admit, I have been known to run a few red lights in my day (in multiple ways...). Sometimes I feel like I am playing a cosmic game of red light, green light with God as the traffic signal. To me, the whole game begs the question - where is the yellow light?! But that's beside the point. When God says, "green light" I proceed full-steam ahead into whatever He is calling me to do. (Joel and I are both "all or nothing" type of people.) And then when God gives me a red light, well, red lights are no fun.
And right now, I'm at a red light. Recently, Joel and I made the difficult decision to put my education on hold indefinitely. I am not sure if this blog is the appropriate forum to announce this because, honestly, I feel like I am disappointing a few people, but oh well. In particular there are a few people from West Chester, and my sweet, older brother who I looked in the eye and promised that I would finish my degree. I was adamant that marrying Joel would not mean sacrificing my degree... but you try running one of God's red lights.
When I went to enroll for fall classes through Liberty, I found out that they had changed the requirements for the degree program I was in and I was going to have to take several additional classes. Taking more classes meant more money out of pocket and several more semesters of my time. So Joel and I prayed about it for a while and finally both concluded that this is a door that God has closed. Especially with Joel dealing with all of the stress and long hours of pilot training, it was tough on our marriage for me to be stressed out and studying all the time, too.
Speaking of pilot training, Joel is doing really well. Praise God - He seems to have really given Joel a natural ability when it comes to this stuff. Joel's air sickness seems to have gone away and he is getting great scores on his check-rides. Thanks for the prayers and please keep them coming! I'll do a better job keeping up with the blog now that summer is winding down. :)
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